Moha - Don't Put Up With People Who Put You Down
Did you ever have a relative or so-called friend who
consistently said demeaning and critical things to you? "Are you going
out dressed like that?" "You’ll never amount to anything!" "Why don’t
you go on a diet?" and so on, and so on. Are you still going through
this? If so, why are you letting this go on? You are having your
self-esteem, energy, and spirit be diminished or extinguished. Even if
it is claimed that these comments were being made "for you own good", if
you look at it objectively, you will see that they have not brought you
any benefit and in fact have caused you to suffer. Understanding this
Technically, Moha translates from Sanskrit as "Delusion".
Philosophically though, it is much more. There are probably billions of
people in the world right now who understand the real meaning of Moha.
Because of this, they lead their lives in a much saner, rational, inner
peace-producing manner than we do in America and other countries where
the concept of Moha is virtually unknown. Basically, it means that you
put up with stupid (although not necessarily unintelligent), mean
spirited, or negative people just because you have some kind of
nostalgic connection to them. So, if they happen to be related to you,
have known you for years, work with you, have the same friends, or
whatever, they feel entitled to bring suffering into your life.
Sometimes this comes in the form of physical, mental, emotional or
spiritual direct personal attacks, and sometimes just by their own
ongoing habit of expressing negativity about life and things in general.
And you continue to let them be part of your life. Pretty delusional
reaction, isn’t it?
So, now that you know about Moha, you must, for your own well
being, cut these people out of your life. It is very much like the
suggestions that AA, NA, and other 12 step programs make - don’t
associate with people, places, or things that will bring you down. It is
really very simple. If something brings you peace, it is "good" and
should be encouraged. If something takes your peace away, it is "bad"
and must be eliminated from your life. Sometimes, because of economic
situations, like your job, or due to relationships, like your in-laws,
you must continue your physical contact with the people who you realize
are "bad" to and for you. You must then at least divorce yourself
mentally and emotionally from reacting to their comments.
As a matter of fact, you can gain from seeing them for the
pitiful beings they are and feel compassion for them. After all, they
have to wake up every morning and spend all day in their own miserable
company. But you must never let them "get under your skin". You owe
nothing but compassion to anyone whose words or actions cause you to
suffer. This will free you to create a life full of those things that
you have found to be "good" for you. And you will live happily ever